Cohhble

 This past week I spent wondering if there was something I can add to the film. For a long time I've avoided animating humans. Not really sure why, I think I was worried that adding a human can make a film too complex and time consuming. It turned out to be untrue- animating human figures does not take a long time, and it has rekindled a passion I had for drawing human figures before 2019. I think I was avoided something that I was good at for a long time. I think I wanted to change myself, I felt that my visions were too childish. But I now realized that my work was never inferior or childish, I just had to improve on it. The film is still about a place of solace, the lonely drive. But I'm adding in another perspective- the wishful feeling of running freely in the woods without any worries.

  "creativity and ego cannot go together. If you free yourself from the comparing and jealous mind, your creativity opens up endlessly. Just as water springs from a mountain, creativity springs from every moment. You must not be your own obstacle. You must not be owned by the envir onment you are in. You must own the environment, the phenomenal world around you. You must be able to freely move in and out of your mind. This is being free. There is no way you can't open up your creativity. There is no ego to speak of. That is my belief" - Jeong Kwan

I want to make these flashing images of trees, shrubs, and stones around the beginning of film, layered between frames of ink strokes. I started by going outdoors doing blind contour drawings of trees, and then coming home to add shades and extra details to them. The drawings are put together with pencil and ink. Shaded, inked, then composited in After Effects:

  Coming back to the idea of the meaning in solace, I'm hoping to capture rapid movement of shrubbery and greens dotted along the highway. (I'm not sure how I'm going to take a video/photos while driving safely though.) I wanted the feeling to be beautiful, yet fleeting. As if you wish you can take a moment to appreciate the beauty of the wild grass, woods, and stone. The pandemic has boxed my life in so many ways, and driving is the only way for me to escape that suffocating feeling. Here's the same frames but with added fast blur- the motion is more rapid in this one. I like that the blurred motions makes the imagery a little abstract, yet you can still feel the greenery in them. Both are nice, I'm still testing some animation ideas out. I'm going to try painting or inking the feeling out, and see if that conveys the emotion better than photography. Update: I tried out some inks this evening. I think it came out beautifully, it's making me excited for this...

I enjoy being alone. I enjoy getting lost in my thoughts, it helps me reflect on myself. Driving is a place of solace for me, a time where I can be utterly, completely alone in my thoughts. Tonights drive back home has been insightful about my struggles. I should listen to what my gut tells me when I am struggling to find any joy in my work. I don't like storytelling or narrative based work. I don't like character animation either. I've changed so much as an artist over these past few years, maybe I should come to a complete halt with what I am doing right now and see what I really want to express and make. I shouldn't force myself to complete a project that I have zero passion for. "I've already gone knee deep into this, so I should finish it" is my only motivation to keep it going. Every now and then I have doubts whether all this effort is really worth my time. "Little Green Thumb", is all show and no soul. The quality of animation is excellen...

 Today marks the last day of teaching for the Spring semester. I learned so much from teaching at the school. I may be the one leading the class, giving out critiques, advices, and lectures, but the actions and responses the students offer back are far more valuable. One student managed to create a fantastic short film out of only sticky notes. The sticky notes came in various bright colors. This resulted in a flashing, psychedelic approach to the film, which paired very nicely with his narrative story. He mentioned that he did not even think about the different tones his sticky notes have, but rather simply thought it was a waste not to use them. I found that to be extremely enlightening. A great film can be produced from an accidental discovery. I believe over planning can kill an idea. Too much preparation for a project can result in a dull, redundant work. There needs to be room for experimentation. Sometimes you just need to make something out of sheer curiosity. I find that t...

 I've decided to write my thoughts out while working on my film and my general day to day living. I have a lot of doubts about myself, whether I could accomplish what I want to do before I die. But I can't keep being hesitant forever, otherwise nothing will be accomplished. My current film project, Little Green Thumb, is a relatively "safe" narrative driven short film. I'm unsure when I have started working on this as a film- the idea originated from a discarded little animation game that I wanted to do with my patrons on Patreon. It was a simple game- I'd given at least two different options to my patrons, and the votes dictate where the short film will go. This idea spawned much earlier though. I believe I began animating in this style after my boyfriend and I have attempted to create a short film. We took turns creating the scene in a sequential order. The idea was short-lived, my boyfriend and I had other ideas we wished to pursue. And so, with nothing el...